trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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