Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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