No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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