Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
