i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
