hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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