I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
