I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
