I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
