great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
