Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
