just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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