I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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