Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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