Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
