Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
