You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
