We won't sleep together?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
