Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
