Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
