The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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