Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
