i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
