You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
