She said her name was "party"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
