He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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