You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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