i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
