took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
