she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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