you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Found your dick twin last night
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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