Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
