i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
