i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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