If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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