Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
