you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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