my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
