normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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