You're a womanizer and a bitch.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
