i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Im part way to drunk.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
