You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
