ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
