I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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