About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
