Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
