The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
