My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
