I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
