i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
